Cord Blood Stem Cells Information - still birth at 39 weeks+3 days... i am desperate.. the baby i wanted so much is gone..?

still birth at 39 weeks+3 days... i am desperate.. the baby i wanted so much is gone..?

they say it is the umbilical cord around his neck... whatever. no explanation is acceptable to me. he was perfectly health just a week before. i am so sure i felt him moving the same day... i had to go through a normal delivery.. held his little body against me, kissed him, but he won't open his eyes.. my little angel is gone. now day after day, i have to hang on, keep a normal life because of my two other children... keep shopping and seeing other mothers with their babies... i am angry, sad, and empty. i want another baby NOW but i know it does not erase what happened. a healthy little boy, 9 pounds, beautiful, and he is not here. really do not know what to do. mornings are painful. evenings are sleepless. and i am tired of talking to friends and making them sad and cry.. i want answers which i will not get. i want to know why the doctors could not detect this. what should i do? where should i go? who should i talk to? how can i stop the pain and the emptiness?help.. just some help..

Public Comments

I really don't have much advice but other then I am sooo sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you are going through and had to go through!!
I would talk to your church/hospital etc and see if you can find a support group. I am sorry about your loss
Pray for strength; your baby is now happy where he is. He won't if he is seeing you that way. Just put in your mind that he belongs to heaven and that he is with the One that created all things.
I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you could benefit from a grief counsellor. Just look one up in the phone book under "Mental Health Services". Also, be very picky. If you don't like one, dump him and move on to the next until you find one you like.
I lost a baby when he was 6 months old,sids.keep talking about it to anyone who'll listen,i'm so sorry.you just gotta keep going.i think you should have another baby as soon as you're ready.though nothing can replace the precious little darling you had.hold on,it gets better.GOD BLESS.
this is devastating try griefnet.org to talk to other sonline with similar experiences and speak to doctor about getting help as you heal best wishesThere is no easy way to get through this but you will become more able to as time goes on
My first daughter died at 26 weeks' gestation. Her death was linked to Down's syndrome. There are no exact answers as to why nobody detected this. Nothing was wrong with your son. He simply had an accident that could not have been prevented while still ensuring he was born functionally mature. I remember nothing from Kyrie's January birth until nearly June of 2002. It was agonizing. I remember weeping so hard that my husband wouldn't take me anywhere. I do remember wanting to die. What helped me was counseling. My counselor let me yell, scream, cry, and tell the same tale over and over and over. And when Adia was born the next year, it was worse in a way, because everyone seemed to think the pain was gone just because Adia had been born. There are some very good books out there. I found getting pregnant again was a mixed blessing (both Kyrie and Adia would have shared a birthdate if Kyrie had not been so early.) because everything happened with them both on the same timeframe - they both kicked for the first time on Halloween, for instance. She's the sweetest souvenir possible of that horrible pain, but it still hurts. And she isn't her sister at all.
I have never lost a child so I can't possibly know what you are going through. However, Give yourself time to heal. You lost your son. You have to allow yourself to grieve. Don't get pregnant now because you'll just try to replace your son. That wouldn't be fair to your new baby. It will come when the time is right. I know that sounds simple, but at least this way you could see your new baby for who she is not for the one you lost. Why don't you look into grief counseling? Then you can share your pain with other parents who have lost a child and know exactly what you are feeling. It isn't anything to be ashamed of if you do, it is a way to continue to talk of your son and eventually you'll be able to do it without tears. God Bless You ( I hope that doesn't offened you.) Good Luck.
I am soooo sorry for your loss; you are in my thoughts and prayers. There is probably a support group in your area for others whom have experienced this as well.
An umbilical cord around the neck can happen so quickly. I am so very VERY sorry for your loss and cannot imagine your pain. I lost my baby just last week to a miscarriage and I did see my little angel. I suggest calling your ob/gyn and asking for support groups for women who've lost babies to still birth. They can be so helpful and you'll be around women in the same boat you are who understand your pain and your questions and may be able to supply answers, too. The pain and emptiness won't stop, but they will dim with time. In the meantime, hug your children and love them with all your heart. That what I did with my son when I finally came home after the miscarriage (I was hospitalized over night due to complications). I don't know what your religious beliefs are, but rest assured that your child is in the arms of God and up there in Heaven perhaps playing with my child. My hugs and prayers are with you. Yahoo answers can be cruel, but know that I really do care.
Thing happen for a reason this is sad at the same time you can make another baby. When I gave birth to my first child while in labor her heart rate kept dropping they told me that maybe the cord was getting wrapped around her neck. I have to rushed into giving birth to save her. When she came out sure enough the cord was around her neck and she was not crying at all they cut her from me fast and rushed her off, after a few seconds se started to scream I know how I felt at that moment so I understand how you feel. Now I have another baby and thinking about having another. It will be OK be thankful for the other kids that you do have and enjoy life.
First and foremost, let me express my most sincere condolences. I cannot imagine the pain that you must be going through. To answer your questions, you should talk to your obstetrician and find out exactly what happened. Even with the greatest technology (heart and baby monitors, etc.), things can happen in the delivery room that are beyond what doctor can do. I would suggest asking about support groups and therapy. I think that surrounding yourself with others in a similar situation may help you to feel less lonely and empty. Then, you will be able to move on and TTC in about a year.
I just recently lost my son at 20 weeks...it's so very hard to even go near the baby section at the store. You may want to talk to a grievance counselor at the hospital, believe it or not, they understand how difficult it is to lose a baby. I too had to go through a "normal delivery"...I held his body and kissed his face. Just because we had lost him before he took his first breath...he is still my son. We had a priest on hand at the hospital, all of our family was there, we baptized him, and then had a memorial service. Because of the laws in our state, we had to either cremate him or bury him...we chose to cremate him so that we could have him with us in our home. I know what you mean about not wanting to bring your family and friends down...at a certain point, it begins to feel like they expect you to be "over it"...you'll never be over it. You lost a child, and it's okay to feel depressed...I still have days where all I want to do is lie in bed and cry...but I can't. I have a toddler who still needs his mommy, and it doesn't matter to him that I feel like I lost a part of myself. Focus on the children you have...when you feel yourself spiraling out of control, lean on them...take them to the park, play with them, have them tell you a joke...whatever it is that they do that puts a smile on your face, do it. Don't feel as if you're not allowed to grieve this child...why not do something in memory of the child that has passed? Plant a tree, make a scrapbook (of pregnancy photos and possible labor photos), buy a piece of jewelery that you can wear on a daily basis to remind you of them...At things remembered, they have a necklace with a heart pendant with a cross attched to it...I wear it everyday, and I had my son's name inscribed...it falls right on my heart. If you're religious, talk to your priest, a counselor, or a support group. There are plenty out there, just talk to the grievance counselor at the hospital I'm sorry that this has happened to you...and again, you're right, there is no answer, and I think that's what makes it so much harder...but you'll get through this in time...and hopefully be able to move forward in your life. good luck...and if you ever just need to someone to talk to feel free to email me...I've been where you're at...I'm still there...but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel...
i am so sorry for your loss. I think you need to get some grief conceling. They can help you through this better than anybody else. This is about the hardest thing anybody can face. Look into good counceling centers in your area. ask around even call around and find a place qualified to do grief conceling. good luck to u and i hope it gets better
you need to grieve. I am sorry that something so bad happenned to you. Having another child won't take away the pain of losing this one. You are angy and rightfully so. My Suggestion, seek a counselor and talk, i know you don't "want to talk" but you really need to.. that will help fill the void. or atleast help you understand it. You will always feel sad for losing this baby but you can go on for him. you can love your other kids, and remember togehter this beautiful boy. Sometimes the cord wraps around so fast that it's not known why it happens. I know you want/need answers. If you believe in God, Pray, talk to him, write a journal. ANYTHING that helps clear your mind. See a counselor or a psychiatrist. talk to your hubby/or boyfriend if you have one. they are in pain too. even if they don't show it. Hold a memorial service for your baby. Remember your pregnancy just like you would a child/adults life. show ultrasound pictures, talk about how he moved and felt. Love him and don't stop loving him. there are stages to grieving and you are angry, VERY UNDERSTANDABLE. BUT you need to learn to overcome it if you are to go on. tell your children all about the little one you lost remember his "birthday" and Love him like you would any other "live" child. If you would like to talk to an open ear e-mail me catzclawzz@yahoo.com
I am sooo sorry. I can not even imagine your pain. I have three little ones and only a mother knows the bond between her and her child. Maybe there are support groups out there. I really hope that things get better.
Im soooo sorry to hear about this!! I couldn't imagine what your going through...I would suggest you find a good church and maybe talk to a pastor..They are good to listen and can help you through this..None of us understand what the purpose is for this kinda of stuff...But in the long run there was a plan??? Its hard to accept that, but just think that your baby is with Jesus right now haveing a wonderful life with no pain, heartache, sickness, or any kinda of worldly problems at all..You'll see him one day when you go to be with Jesus and he'll be waiting to see you...It may help to remember that he is looking down at mommy all the time, and he dosn't want you to be sad!! He wants you to be happy in knowing he is in a better place playing with Jesus all day long!!! I know this is hard but find someone to talk to (don;t bottle up your feelings!!) I'll pray for you everynite!!! God bless!!
So sorry sister. You are in my prayers Here is a prayer for you Lord help her to know that no matter how dark the situation lord you are the light in the dark, Lift her above the storms and into the comfort of your presence.Only you can take away her feelings of loss and fill that empty space with good. Only you can take away her grief,pain and dry her tears. Your words say that every good gift comes from you God. Lord enable her to get through her sorrow. Even though it may seem hard to imagine life without this pain,within the lord all things are possible. Your healing power can restore anything even a broken heart. Lord take her hand and lead her until she can feel your light on her face again and joy in her heart. Amen
I am soooo sorry for your loss!! The only advice is to allow yourself to grieve and continue to talk about it!! My prayers and heart go out to you!!! Pray for strength and know that your little angel is watching over you and forever will be with you!!! Don't rush to have another until you give yourself time to heal and grieve!! Check out this site and I hope it helps you out!!! It helped me when I had my miscarriage... www.ispokewithmychild.com